Monday, February 28, 2011

OHanlon Absconds - Fox Bites - Hosts Plain Sucked!

Radio Free Hard Alley:   HOLLYWOOD - Wow, what a night folks....filled with drama and suspense. On hearing the news that actress Megan Fox planned to attend the 83rd Academy Awards last night, Un-Mayor OHanlon absconded his duties as Unilateral Awards Presenter at the last minute, refusing to be in close proximity to his serial stalker. This placed the Academy in the unusual position of re-booking previously scheduled presenters at the last possible moment.

Arriving by limosine, Megan Fox got word of the news while pulling up to the red carpet and barricaded herself inside her red stretch limo out of sheer embarassment. Her transportation sped away as the lane cleared, and she was later seen frantically stomping about a nearby retention pond after having just ripped the throat out of her publicist by her teeth. Charges have not yet been filed.  More on that story as it develops. But "the show must go on", and it did....unfortunately!


The Orlando Sentinel said that the show was a “disaster.” USA Today said the “pleasure diminished” as the night progressed. Moviefone.com commented that the whole thing was “boring” and “produced horribly.” CBS referred to numerous skits by rookie hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco as “uninspiring.” And The Hollywood Reporter noted that the hosting duet was “spectacularly bad” – particularly James Franco.


When will they ever learn...the youth of today's Hollywood suck....but in a good "lowered expectations" sort of way.  But not all was a total loss.  Rumors are circulating that Academy Award winning actress Natalie Portman was so passionately impressed by OHanlon's snub of Megan Fox...that the actress is in talks with OHanlon's people regarding a dinner engagement at a date to be determined....stay tuned for more! 



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