Radio Free Hard Alley: NEW YORK – Leave it to Charlie Sheen to upstage the Oscars. A day after Hollywood's biggest show, the troubled actor dominated the headlines with threats of a lawsuit, two riveting morning show interviews, a rambling live stream on an Internet website. And by midday Monday, his veteran publicist had quit. It was just another day for the self-described party animal whose use of drugs, alcohol, prostitutes and pornstars combined to shut down the top-rated comedy on television, "Two and a Half Men."
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die, and your children will weep over your exploded body."
"I was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them because thats how I roll."
"The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children. I’ve one speed, I’ve one gear, go! And I dare you to keep up with me,”
In the interviews, Sheen insisted that he is currently sober and says he welcomes drug testing. How did he get sober? "I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind," he told NBC.
"AA was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA." He, presumably, has that Adonis DNA. And people who relapse? "Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option."
Hearing the news that Sheen has Adonis DNA, Un-Mayor OHanlon suddenly realized that Charlie Sheen was actually his long lost brother from Mars, and restated his previous claim that Sheen's still a pussy for not outlasting OHanlon at Sheen's recent pornstar party. "Charlie's such a pussy! He totally crapped out and couldn't fuck anymore....and ultimately wimped out and went to the hospital....what a goon....but hey, he's my brother...so don't any of you try to say that about him!"
Radio Free Hard Alley: HOLLYWOOD - Wow, what a night folks....filled with drama and suspense. On hearing the news that actress Megan Fox planned to attend the 83rd Academy Awards last night, Un-Mayor OHanlon absconded his duties as Unilateral Awards Presenter at the last minute, refusing to be in close proximity to his serial stalker. This placed the Academy in the unusual position of re-booking previously scheduled presenters at the last possible moment.
Arriving by limosine, Megan Fox got word of the news while pulling up to the red carpet and barricaded herself inside her red stretch limo out of sheer embarassment. Her transportation sped away as the lane cleared, and she was later seen frantically stomping about a nearby retention pond after having just ripped the throat out of her publicist by her teeth. Charges have not yet been filed. More on that story as it develops. But "the show must go on", and it did....unfortunately!
The Orlando Sentinel said that the show was a “disaster.” USA Today said the “pleasure diminished” as the night progressed. Moviefone.com commented that the whole thing was “boring” and “produced horribly.” CBS referred to numerous skits by rookie hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco as “uninspiring.” And The Hollywood Reporter noted that the hosting duet was “spectacularly bad” – particularly James Franco.
When will they ever learn...the youth of today's Hollywood suck....but in a good "lowered expectations" sort of way. But not all was a total loss. Rumors are circulating that Academy Award winning actress Natalie Portman was so passionately impressed by OHanlon's snub of Megan Fox...that the actress is in talks with OHanlon's people regarding a dinner engagement at a date to be determined....stay tuned for more!
Radio Free Hard Alley: HOLLYWOOD - Actors James Franco and Anne Hathaway have been replaced as co-hosts the 83rd Academy Awards on February 27th, the producers of the Oscars show announced Monday. They announcement came as a text message from the members of the Academy, and came on the heels of Un-Mayor OHanlon rocking several members of the Academy in person.
Cornered for comment, Un-Mayor OHanlon confirmed his tenure as unilateral host and added that he "in fact had cum on the heels of several members of the Academy Panel", and for that he is "deeply grateful!" The Awards Show will be covered live by our International Correspondents and will be carried by ABC (Alley Broadcasting Company) as developments unfold. Stay Tuned!!
Radio Free Hard Alley: WASHINGTON, D.C. – A photo of Rep. David Wu wearing a tiger costume and other unusual revelations about his mental health are increasing pressure on the seven-term Oregon Democrat to step down. But the lawmaker says he's not quitting even as an editorial in one of the state's largest newspapers and the state Republican chairman called for his resignation.
HARD ALLEY - Responding to the news of Wu's imminent departure from the United States Congress, Un-Mayor OHanlon has offered David Wu a cabinet position in his Office....stating that as long as he remains chained to the cabinet and submits to Furry Testing....and keeps his crazy ass mouth shut....he can proudly proclaim himself "Non-Speaker" of the Alley!
Radio Free Hard Alley: ARCHAEOLOGY - Anyone who's ever thought they had a big butt had nothing on a dinosaur literally named "thunder thighs." Among the sauropods, the largest creatures to have ever walked the Earth, Brontomerus — "thunder thighs" in Greek — probably had the biggest thighs of them all, scientists revealed. Its unusually powerful back legs might have been used for super-kicks against rivals or would-be predators, they added.
HARD ALLEY - Un-Mayor OHanlon has responded to the crisis by calling on experts, and has issued a statement reminding the public that the distinctions for ancient creatures are less about age, and more about attributes. An International Team of Archaeologists are rumored to be roaming the streets of Hard Alley in search of further Brontomerus contact. Some avatars meeting the basic description have been reported in the area in recent weeks, and scientists intend to "get to the bottom of it!" Other unusual species said to inhabit the dark and dreadful streets include.....AlphaKennyWun.......AllotaFagina........AnitaKhock.....and the always popular HalJalikakock. As discoveries are made we'll keep you posted!
Radio Free Hard Alley: HARD ALLEY - The staff of Radio Free Hard Alley extend a warm welcome to our newest International Readership from Singapore! We're so glad to have you with us! Stay tuned for updated News and Mockmentary as we update our content frequently. Glad to have you aboard! :)
Radio Free Hard Alley: SCIENCE OF SEX - Here's a crucial message for teens: Oral sex carries many of the same risks as vaginal sex, including human papilloma virus, or HPV. And HPV may now be overtaking tobacco as the leading cause of oral cancers in America in people under age 50. The study was presented Sunday at the American Association for the Advancement of Science. The latest data suggest that 64% of oropharynx cancers - growing in the middle part of the throat - in the United States are caused by HPV, which is more than tobacco causes, said Maura Gillison of Ohio State University. And as the number of partners on whom you have performed oral sex goes up, the risk of oropharnyx cancer goes up.
HARD ALLEY - Responding to the findings, Un-Mayor OHanlon took a deep frustrated drag from his Marlboro cigarrette and exhaled loudly as he looked down replying "Hold on a second sweetheart"....then continued by saying "look, it's like double dipping with french fries....if you have to question whether you should be double dipping with that person, you probably shouldn't be eating fries with them anyway....fair enough?!" OHanlon then immediately resumed his normal duties as Un-Mayor without incident.
Radio Free Hard Alley: FOXGATE - As the days continue to pass and the pressure continues to mount, Actress Megan Fox just can't seem to keep things in perspective anymore. Appearing on The Letterman Show, the sultry actress was heckled by former fans and ultimately run off-stage by a cabbage weilding crowd as Letterman laughed nearby.
Letterman: "So Megan.....eh haahaa....I errrmm....I understand you can't seem to get enough of this Donovan fella. Is that true?"
Fox: "Yeah...he's pretty much it for me...I mean have you seen the guy? I mean...wow!" [blushed deep red]
Heckler: "YOU F***ING BITCH.....HE'S F***ING MARRIED IN SL...BITCH!
Crowd: "BITCH...BITCH...BITCH....BITCH....BITCH...BITCH...BITCH....BITCH!!
Letterman: [uncontrollable laughter]
Fox: [uncontrollable blushing] departs running off stage
Letterman: "When we come back tonight's top ten list....Top Ten Signs you're a serial stalker! We'll be right back folks!"
[commercial break]
Radio Free Hard Alley: WASHINGTON – General Motors says it is recalling more than 50,000 Cadillac CTS vehicles worldwide to fix a loose joint that could cause a rear wheel to become unstable, making it hard for drivers to steer.
GM says the recall affects more than 44,000 CTS vehicles in the United States from the 2009 and 2010 model years. The auto company said nuts in the rear suspension could become loose, causing a sudden change in the vehicle's handling or making the driver lose control of the vehicle. Owners can contact Cadillac at 866-982-2339 for more information.
Meanwhile in HARD ALLEY - Un-Mayor OHanlon has issued a SIM-wide recall of more than 50,000 RLV Residents to pass them a loose joint that could cause their rears to become unstable, making it easier for him to steer them in that direction...so his nuts can slap their rears. Owners are encouraged to contact Donovan OHanlon in world for a free assessment.
Radio Free Hard Alley: PUBLISHING NEWS - The SL magazine Blood Digest probably never expected to find itself in the middle of a spat between two of the Planet's biggest and sexiest stars. Burning Bus Weekly, a Hard Alley periodical, takes a swan dive into the deep end today, running a bizarre item that claims Megan Fox is on the cover of Blood Digest stricktly for personal gain. When OHanlon caught up with the March issue of Blood Digest he was apparently amazed to see Fox on the cover. According to a friend who spilled the beans to Burning Bus Weekly, OHanlon called it a "pathetic" and "desperate" ploy to get his attention.
OHanlon has appeared on various Blood Digest covers and, claims the “insider,” thinks Megan’s at-home photo shoot is “desperate” and a “role-play to get his attention because she knows he reads the magazine.”
Representatives for actress Megan Fox could not be reached for comment and clarification.
Radio Free Hard Alley: LOS ANGELES - Just when you thought things couldn't get any more embarrassing! In recent days the stalking scandal involving actress Megan Fox and the Hard Alley Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon has flooded the waves and internet. Shocking revelations and accusations of Ms. Fox's deep fixation with Donovan and her irrational behavior in stalking him have left fans screaming to the internet to learn more facts. Publicists for Megan Fox have categorically denied she's been involved in any form of stalking behaviors, while OHanlon's Staff has provided details proving her guilt including video survelliance camera footage and excerpts of conversations between the two parties. Apparently it's about to get even more embarrassing for the young actress today!
It appears that Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley might have authorized the leak of a tape of a 911 call recently processed by Emergency Staff in the area. In the recording allegedly Megan Fox herself confronts a Call Center Operator in an attempt to secure OHanlon's new private residence telephone number.
MEGAN FOX 911 Call Transcript:
Operator: "911, what is your emergency?"
Megan Fox: "Operator, I've been trying to get (number redacted). The recording says its been disconnected."
Operator: "Just a moment please."
[pause]
Operator: "I'm sorry, the number's been changed to an unlisted number."
Megan Fox: "Operator, this is a real emergency please. You need to give me that number."
Operator: "I'm sorry. We're not allowed to give out that information."
Megan Fox: "Well *fuck you*!"
Operator: [stiffled laughter] "My place or yours?"
[Megan Fox slams phone]
Asked to provide opinion and analysis, OHanlon reiterated his respect for Megan Fox as an actress and added "Once again, I am sure that Megan will make someone very happy one day....for now I wish she would seek the professional help she needs to overcome this determination she's developed for an SL cross-over with me. She just cannot seem to keep things RL only....and I'm now starting to worry for her mental and emotional health as this drags on."
Radio Free Hard Alley: HAUD PLUVIA - Is Megan Fox serially stalking Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon? A recently released survellience video appears to show a scantily dressed Fox lurking behind a sofa shared by OHanlon and his wife on Valentine's Night. The couple appears to be sharing a cozy moment alone by a fire at the Haud Pluvia Tavern, while in the backgroud Fox looks on silently.
As the tape progresses OHanlon hears a moan in the background only to find Fox standing behind the happy couple and confronts her. An excerpt of the conversation that followed is provided below. Content Warning: the information below is not suitable for all audiences or small children, reader discretion is advised.
Megan: "We're attracted to each other, that's obvious! You're sort of on your own for the night, that's also obvious... we're two adults."
Donovan: "Megan, I'm an avatar....and you're not even allowed here anymore, I have a virtual restraining order now!"
Megan: "Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Don!"
Donovan: "You're so sad. You know that, Megan? Lonely and very sad."
Megan: "Don't you ever pity me, you smug bastard."
Donovan: "I'll pity you... I'll pity you. I'll pity you because you're sick."
Megan: "Why? Because I won't allow you treat me like some slut you can just have vote for you and throw in the garbage?"
Donovan: "You come near my family again, and I'll kill you!"
Megan Fox ejected from Haud Pluvia Land and Estate Banned
Megan: "Shit, shit, shit! Shit, shit, shit!"
Radio Free Hard Alley: LOS ANGELES - In the aftermath of her recent arrest on charges of trespassing in the Un-Mayor OHanlon stalking case, publicists for actress Megan Fox have come out swinging and vehemently denying the star had "any role whatsoever, nor interest, in the recent claims of stalking surrounding Donovan OHanlon." However, despite their claims of innocence, the OHanlon team has today released taped excerpts of calls left on the phone at OHanlon's private residence as proof the disturbed actress "needs help!"
Megan Fox Answering Machine Messages on Donovan's Phone:
[beep] Donovan darling, it's Megan Fox...I met you in the Hardcore Sex and Strip Club on election night, anyway, I've been thinking about you and just thought I'd give you a call and see if you're free. Call me!
[beep] Heya Donovan, it's Megan....giggles....I ummm....yeah I'm just giving you a call....call me back.
[beep] Hi sexy, it's me....I just finished brushing me teeth and figured I'd see if you were up yet...call me.
[beep] Hi Donovan, I was just blow drying my hair, thought I heard the phone ring. Ah... has that ever happened to you? Anyway... call me, we'll talk about it.
[beep] Hey Donovan, just checking in...give me a ring, I'm at (number redacted)
[beep] Okay Don, so here’s how it’s gonna work. Now I'm a celebrity, so when you get home...you're gonna call me...and we'll just go out and have some fun...okay? Call me!
[beep] Donovan, It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I’ll assume, I’ll assume that you’ve already left work, because, you know, some people leave work early, and I’ll grant you that. Hurry up and call me at (number redacted)
[beep] Hey Donovan I'm on a pay phone, so if you're there pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, well OK, I'll be home later.
[beep] Okay I'm home, give me a buzz when you get in....I'll be here pretty much all night.
[beep] Hey Don. It's me again. I was just using the potty. Thought you might have called. Okay, later.
[beep] We're havin ourselves quite a little game of phone tag here.
[beep] *silence.............hangs up*
[beep] *silence.............breathing.......hangs up*
[beep] *hangs up*
Radio Free Hard Alley: HAUD PLUVIA - Un-Mayor OHanlon's property was broken into last week. A female identified only as Actress Megan Fox was arrested last Thursday for trespassing on the grounds of the Un-Mayor’s Haud Pluvia cottage.
Thankfully, Donovan OHanlon — who lives at the luxurious medievil timber home with his SL wife Nessa Savira— didn’t come in to contact with the woman as their state-of-the-art security system sent warning signals straight to the Haud Pluvia Guards. “The property is protected by a 24-hour security team that detected and detained the deranged and obsessed Ms. Fox until she was turned over to the custody of Beverly Hills police officers, who arrested her,” said OHanlon’s representative. “The intruder never entered the actual residence, and did not make any contact with either Donovan or Nessa."
Cornered for comment recently as he appeared for the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards, OHanlon simply said "Look, Megan Fox is a nice girl, and she'll make someone very happy someday I'm sure. She just has a real hard time keeping things RL only. She keeps pestering me for some kind of SL cross-over, and that's just not gonna work. I'm happily married in SL....and Megan just needs to get a grip!!"
Radio Free Hard Alley: WASHINGTON - One week and three days after Un-Mayor OHanlon declared before an audience that he was now "Un-Mayor", he has come to meet with President Obama in the United States for his first visit with the Commander-in-Chief. He was greeted by White House Staff and Officials, and given the appropriate Head of State treatment his position in regional politics requires. The President was originally scheduled to have a "working dinner" with Afghan President Hamid Karzai at his Presidential Palace in Kabul, but chose to orchestrate this unannounced visit and to meet with Un-Mayor OHanlon, and the First Lady of Hard Alley Nessa Savira, in the capital city. It is believed this urgent visit was called due to the recent unrest in Egypt.
The trip was shrouded in secrecy for security reasons, with the reporters who accompanied the Un-Mayor not permitted to announce his presence until after the exaulted one landed. This visit comes at a pivotal moment for the Un-Mayor, with more than 250 web-hits and counting, and he has vowed to increase that number to more than 100,000.
Radio Free Hard Alley: NASA - Astronauts sent to colonize Mars would be well advised to avoid getting pregnant en route to the Red Planet. High-energy particles bombarding the ship would almost certainly sterilize any female fetus conceived in deep space, making it that much more difficult to establish a successful Mars Colony once the crew lands said radiation biophysicist Tore Straume of the NASA Ames Research Center.....Hard Alley: Responding to the announcement, Un-Mayor OHanlon berrated Dr. Straume's findings as "shabby science of speculation" and demanded to know "the last time this fucking idiot even HAD sex, if EVER?!" OHanlon followed up with an immediate call for further research and has cleared his calendar for any such tests as "the female staff at NASA may desire".
Radio Free Hard Alley: HOLLYWOOD - Ellen DeGeneres is celebrating after learning she's a distant cousin of royal bride-to-be Kate Middleton. The funny woman has been joking about getting an invite to England's big wedding in April - and now it appears she has a right to be there. The New England Historic Genealogical Society has discovered she's the 15th cousin of Britain's future queen. They are distant cousins......Hard Alley: Not to be outdone by DeGeneres' news, Un-Mayor OHanlon stated that the information was really "no big fucking deal", claiming that he and Prince William were actually switched at birth. Displaying a 26 page Ancestry.com print-out, OHanlon jeered the crowd, insinuating that HE in fact is the rightful heir to Kate Middleton's bed-chamber and vowed to take nay-sayers "by force" should he be deprived of his birthrite......stay tuned.....
Radio Free Hard Alley: NEW YORK - Beloved news personality and icon Larry King swiftly moved out of retirement Tuesday for "the single most important interview of my life" he told collegues. In the hours long interview, King pressed Un-Mayor OHanlon on issues ranging from human sexuality to self-appointed governance. Audiences World-wide (and on the International Space Station) were rivited when OHanlon left King speechless for the first time in his life-long career.
King: "Is it true that you appointed YOURSELF Un-Mayor of Hard Alley?"
OHanlon: "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you appointing yourself Un-Mayor of Hard Alley, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said yes. And it would have been completely true."
King was immediately rushed to the nearest trauma center for a suspected embellism. OHanlon remained on set to enjoy the coffee and gourmet finger sandwiches before returning to his Office. When reached for comment, Un-Mayor OHanlon simply responded "Oh yeah, it was terrible....tradgic....I mean the sandwiches didn't even have mustard on them....WTF?!"....stay tuned for breaking developments.....
Radio Free Hard Alley: HOLLYWOOD - Notorius Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon will now have his own Prime Time Cable Commentary Show, and moving to his newly developed network are the lesser known figures Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. His new program "The Un-Mayor Factor" will premier soon on the Hard Alley Channel! Barf and hurray!
Known now un-officially in circles as The Trifecta of Tribulation, Stewart seemed upbeat, and Colbert was last seen kneeling on a prayer rug chanting "There is No Un-Mayor but OHanlon, and Stewart is his Prophet!" Stay tuned as developments unfold.......
Radio Free Hard Alley: WORLD PRESS - The much awaited tell all book by Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon was finally released today, causing traffic to stir world-wide as Residents rushed to secure their own personal copy of his Masterpeice.
In the true OHanlon form that we've all come to expect, the work is magnificently well done and has caused the likes of Stephen King, Rudyard Kipling and Garrison Keiller to barricade themselves in their homes to escape the fallout. To secure your free copy today, IM Donovan OHanlon in world....supplies are unlimited.....so act fast!
Radio Free Hard Alley: BREAKING NEWS - In a shocking maneuver today, Un-Mayor OHanlon issued the sixth of his Official Proclamations, this time declaring open neutrality amid the current civil unrest in Hard Alley.
Click here to read his Proclamation of Neutrality http://unmayor.blogspot.com
Further details will be released as they are made available......
Radio Free Hard Alley: WASHINGTON - A California company has recalled more than 3,000 pounds of fresh ground beef patties and other packages of ground beef products that may be contaminated with the E. coli bacteria, the U.S. Agriculture Department said Saturday......HARD ALLEY - not suprizingly the USDA recall wasn't simply confined to ground beef! Inspectors decended upon the streets of Hard Alley today and began conducting "random meat inspections", resulting in a recall of nearly 3,000 inches suspected of "contamination". Un-Mayor OHanlon as a result declared Marshall Law and established a curfew for the Reform School Inmates until further notice......more to follow as details emerge.....
Radio Free Hard Alley: OUTBREAK ALERT - Since it's inception many fascinating phenomenon have accompanied the Radio Free Hard Alley Blogspot.....laughter...shock and awe.....and even rumors of extra-terrestrial influence and contact...but now.....what's this?!!!
We're not certain what this trend signals, but it appears that the Radio Free Hard Alley service has attracted an ever growing International Audience....and continues to spread daily....like a plague....only in a good way. World-wide people are laughing, spilling coffee, passing links and yes....even yelling and screaming at their screens! And they do this from their homes, iPhones and wire-less laptops in the United States, Candada, Italy, United Kingdom, Australia, Germany, Brazil, France, Norway, Hong Kong, Puerto Rico, and now today....Morocco and Russia as well.
Like the dazzling display of the Aurora Borealis to a child, or the famed truck headlights in the eyes of a deer...we're not exactly sure what to make of the effects just yet. But the Staff at Radio Free Hard Alley just wishes to thank our Global Readership for adding yet another layer to the dimensions and concept of "String Theory". We'll keep it Blogging, and thank you all for your inspiration! :)
Radio Free Hard Alley: HARD ALLEY – An angry rally Friday by nearly 100,000 protesters in Hard Alley, and behind-the-scenes diplomacy from the self-appointed OHanlon administration, piled more pressure on Hard Rust to make a swift decision and allow the new totalitarian government to embark on an immediate path toward monarchy. Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon said that discussions have begun in the City Hall regarding a turnover of the government, and he called for a "feeling her up period" that begins immediately.....stay tuned for more as details come in to the Situation Room......
Radio Free Hard Alley: AARP - There are mixed reactions on the streets of Hard Alley to news that an Un-Mayor has been declared. The coup has rocked the Blogosphere and sites covering the genocide have erupted with activity from all 4 corners of the globe. This has been attributed to Residents seeking to make sense of the developing emergency. Traffic is melting down sites reporting from the disaster area as they attempt to feed the lust for information. As the situation unfolds we turn our attention now to the figure behind the take over. So, just what is it that makes Donovan the most suitable Un-Mayor? We wanted to find out too! Responding to the crisis, the Associated Alley Role-play Press (AARP) has dispatched investigative reporters to the region to cover the carnage. Surveying the 400,000 most recent visitors to Hard Alley (in the past 24 hours) embedded reporters have uncovered some striking details. Either way.....love him or hate him...one thing is certain....there will be a transfer of power. For now, here are the top 7 responses that explain Un-Mayor Donovan's sudden rise to power.
U nmatched wit and sarcasm
N ever misses a chance to poke fun at everyone, including himself
M akes the extra effort to ensure everyone "finds the mood" while on SIM
A lways thinks quickly on his feet, especially in situations that require creative responses
Y earns to see everyone just have a good ole time
O nly engages in acts of depravity on sim if it's in the Local Chat box
R emembers the most important reason to have an Un-Mayor (the visitors of the streets)
We'll keep you up-to-date as information pours in to our Situation Room.
Radio Free Hard Alley: HARD ALLEY - Newly self-appointed Un-Mayor OHanlon has released to his public the first in his sure to be long line of Official Un-Mayoral Proclaimations. Click here to read and commit these to memory http://unmayor.blogspot.com
Ignorance is no excuse!
Radio Free Hard Alley: Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's memoir is already making waves, though it's not due out until next week. The 800-page book, "Known and Unknown," drew a pre-emptive retort from the ACLU's legal director Jameel Jaffer, who said that "Mr. Rumsfeld's claim that the abuse at Abu Ghraib was isolated and aberrational is demonstrably false"....and in Hard Alley...Hard Alley Un-Mayor Donovan OHanlon's memoir is also making waves recently, though it may never actually be due out. The proposed 4 page book, "I am Un-Mayor (and neither are you)", is drawing widespread praise and has peaked the interest of residents throughout the streets. A grand book-signing event is currently in the works. Details will be published as soon as they are available.....in other news.......
Radio Free Hard Alley: ASSOCIATE PRESS - Tom Brady, the New England Patriots QB has Won AP's Offensive Player of the Year Award on Thursday. He had a spectacular year throwing the football passing for 3,900 yards and 36 TD's. It was Brady's second-best season in terms of touchdowns thrown, with his 50 TD season in 2007 considered to be the best of his career.....ALLEY PRESS - Donovan OHanlon, self-appointed Un-Mayor of Hard Alley has won AP's Offensive Candidate of the Year Award on Thursday. He displayed a remarkable lack of tact and morals, and had his all time best season in terms of Residents scoffed and dumbfounded. It was his self-appointment to office, however, that earned him the well deserved Award....considered by him the "most important thing of his entire Second Life".
Radio Free Hard Alley: IN SPORTS - According to a recent poll, Ben Roethlisberger will be the most disliked player in Super Bowl XLV. A recently released poll shows that the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback will be the least favorite player on the field at Cowboys Stadium. He is "strongly disliked" three times more than any other player in the game....elsewhere, in Hard Alley....no suprize here.....former Mayoral Candidate Donovan, once favored to win, has recently sunken to a new low. Responding to the news, Donovan issued an official statement that he will "Conform with the Non-Conformists" and has declared himself the "Un-Mayor" of Hard Alley. He plans a pompous parade thoughout the streets in his own honor to celebrate "this monumental achievement", to be immediately followed by his Public Acceptance Speech of his self-appointed position.......stay tuned for more......
Radio Free Hard Alley: UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Dicki Leaks experts have completed their analysis of secret communications regarding an unspecified election scandal, and have published their final report to the blogosphere. Shocking revelations of scandal, betrayal and deceit have now rocked the web, and the scope of the fallout is yet to be fully realized. This has been Radio Free Hard Alley.....Good night, and Good Luck!
Click here to view the Dicki Leaks Information: http://dickileaks.blogspot.com/
